After those days

tapi....


tetap saja. dia yang paling baik.
dia sama kaya papah aku, yang selalu ngingetin untuk jadi cewek yang halus.
jadi, sama dia banyak belajarnya, hehe.
dia pelupa, gak ketolong pelupanya. kadang kesel.
tapi


itulah dia. apa adanya.

aku juga gak pernah kemana-mana, gak pernah jalan-jalan seperti apa orang bilang.
sampai hari ini teman ada yang bilang, "ah masa sih? beneran?"
iya, beneran.
weekend aku selalu di kosan kok. weekdays pun maghrib juga udah gak pernah keluar :)
masih ada yang mau ditanyain lagi?

menurut aku, keluarga itu yang paling penting.
jadi keluarga menurutku pun harus jadi prioritas dia yang paling utama.

Said once over is over

Bye us.

'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even

they say bad things happen for a reason

but no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

...

i will be okay. even someone did bad things.

i always understand, am i? --i forgive.

but i cant always pretend to forget what someone did even they said sorry.

because

they do it again and... they never realize.
(or should i always pretend and forgive?)

no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

but no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

I forgive but I know he will try to make this like it is my fault

sometimes he loves me but sometimes he means

I love him but I never want to have this kind of relationship

I see people can treat his girlfriend very nice and proud to have her

why you cant be like that?

it's okay ^^

BUT

FIVE MINUTES AFTER, I REALIZED IT SUCH A WASTE TIME TO WRITE THOSE THINGS.
IM NOT IN THE BROKEN HEART SITUATION
I REALIZED THAT I WORTH TO BE LOVED
THERES MORE AN IMPORTANT THING I HAVE THAN WAITING
DOES PEOPLE WORTH TO BE LOVED? SO CALM DOWN.
YOUR TIME WASTED.
WHEN SOMEONE DOESNT FIGHT FOR YOU, YOU FIGHT FOR HIM, JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE. IF SOMEBODY LOVES YOU, HE WILL SHOW YOU TO THE WORLD. YOU DONT HAVE TO CRY AND TRY TO FIND OUT. BECAUSE HE WILL LET YOU TO SEE.

enough to say, am i insane? 
no, i just did whats the best for my life. for us.
we actually still 20 and not good to say "us"
we can only hope
so, do what is the best for your life, i would be happy for you :) <3
and someday, i will find my John (idk why im smiling)

(i know now, because im talking to you, Savannah)

Terlalu Manis - Slank

Hai.

Kapan ya terakhir kali ngerasain galau?

Dikirain galau itu cuma dihadapi oleh anak-anak SMA ke bawah.

Udah gede gini ternyata rawan juga

.

.

.

Minggu ini berat sekali buat kita,

Kita?

Iya.

Dengan menulis ini, suatu hari nanti, aku bisa merasakan kembali rasanya,

Rasanya minggu ini.

Kita, yah yang umurnya baru setitik.

Tiba-tiba diterpa hujan, angin, badai.

Sampai-sampai kepercayaan untuk tetap mempertahankan kita ini sempat terbesit mundur.

Awalnya berat. Emang berat buat aku.

Ternyata badai yang menghantam besar.

Dari jauh terlihat angin biasa.

Salah kalau hanya berpatokan dan melihat nya dari jauh.

Seharusnya berlari, menghindari badai.

Tapi apa daya.

Semula otak manusia sudah menyusun cara. Namun tubuh tidak merespon.

Sama seperti aku, yang berencana, tapi tetap ada yang menentukan.

Hai i'm going to share right now

So this night is actually a good way to start writing. I currently just post my daily activities in Path. I dont have a lot of friends to be shared there, I guess it would be my privacy area, so you must be a very best, really best that I had.

I don't know what should I write actually, my blog is like a good friend, yeah good friend. We've been together since 2010. My english is still bad, I stop learning english in course, so it's getting bad I guess. And... I'm sad. I went to course since in elementary and never stop till I moved in to Semarang (got confused at first is that in to or into). I remember when I hate myself "Why I should go to course on Saturday night!?" It was bothered me while friends was having they parties. And I just stuck in that small room with people that foredoom us together. But right now, I miss those moments. 

My bf is having his trip to Ungaran Mt. with his organization, and he leaves me alone here for 3 days :p he said "take care" but actually he should've warned him self. Take care boyfie, be here soon, I'll wait. 

The next random one, I'll tell you about my Session last Weds. So It went well and I got an A. That was my first step and I felt a bit nervous. Thank you so much my partner, Ninda, she with her heart patiently tought me, and I'm glad we still learn together, she teaches me a lot. For Satria, thank you so much for always be here. Thanks for those sweet congratulation cards, bucket of roses, and bar of chocolate. You learn to understand me dear :") thank you. I don't need any special gift on my last birthday. I need you to be like this. Give me some appreciate about facing day by day. Give me a reward even it's a small things. That's how I know that you love me. Writing this makes me wanna cry. Me? baby? Dont laugh sweety. I know you are laughing. 

Is that love?

Definitely.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Will you always come home with me and tell me about your day? Tell me about the guy at work who talked too much, the stain you got on your shirt at lunch. Tell me about a funny thought you had when you were waking up and forgotten about. Tell me how crazy everyone is and we can laugh about it. Maybe, if you get home late and I'm already asleep, just whisper in my ear one little thought you had today, 'cause I love the way you look at the world. I'm so happy I get to be next to you and look at the world through your eyes. - Theodore Twombly, HER (2013)

So tomorrow is Tues or Weds?

I didn't think u'd msg me / But I did / Was surprising.

I texted him on skype 2 days ago since the last time we stopped talking. We got busy each other and didn't talk as much. Old friend never dies. He looks good. Same old ones. 10 am on Weds here, 9 pm on Tues there. So tomorrow is Tues or Weds? Well, things change, don't be too surprised, he said. Nice to see you again :)

He has gf and I have one, just like you can miss friends and stuff, so that's ok I miss him. He replied me with, "Well here I am, we can talk." And that's how I met you again, hai! "Oh my God how I miss this guy!" I yelled. And he just LOL. He was smiling a lot I noticed. He got me stared at him so he covered his mouth. "Show me your lips," I asked. Well, he tease me :) and I showed him a grouchy face. "Dont let your bf see this, he may feel bad." "He will be ok" Right?. "yeah but some ppl overly jealous"

Then we talked about his surgery past 2years ago. He's better but still not fully good. He hope me been ok health wise. Thank you :) "10% remaining" I said, "Maybe I should go so I don't kill your battery." 

Well talk to you later.

Sure.

Hai (again) Jan.

Birthday.

Happy 20 Cit. Wish you all the best. If you cant find any happiness in your boyf, you can find it by self. Thanks for not being here. Youre the first who told me to enjoy my day and i'd be the happiest person alive. But you made me cry and left me alone. Is that Love?