Kak, alasyu.

You and me.

It took me a while to write this down, because to be honest I was afraid. Afraid of what future will be for us. "What will happen with us?". There are so many question running through my mind and none of them I could answer. Future seems so blurry --you can see it is there but you don't know yet what it's like.

"you're saying 'but' too much"

Well, you're right. Malam ini berujung bahagia. makasih ya, alasyu mbellllll. Hehe. Kamu aneh, kamu tolol, kamu gila, kamu gak tau malu, kamu hebat :') kamu, kamu, kamu, kamu tuh pengetahuan nya luas bats ya, jauh lah aku, wohowww. Pembelajaran yang gak bisa di dapat di sekolah atau kuliah.

gak usah di pikirin, coba gini aja.

heyoo guys whatssup? it's pretty quiet here. raining all day long. i have nothing in kost-an, so i was like "God help me i'm dying. drums roll effect in my stomach, they need something to be eaten. akhh." and the fact, i just did, goler-goler di kasur, kadang gak gerak, laptop nyala seharian, playlist udah keputer berkali-kali. "please baby, stop the rain, i need food, i need sunshine. bete mampus kalo seharian bener-bener gak keluar. i'm starring at you, grey-ish sky. stop it" fortunately, it stops a while. wuhuuwww. i don't know. i miss you. padahal belom ada sehari. gila gila, sungguh pecah kebosanan hari ini saat anda mengabari "capek..." it means that you still aliveeee. lol. gak ngerti, gak ngerti. ini bisa sampe kapan ya? mau kaya jebraw sama naya di jalan jalan men yuk kakkkk. ayok Jogja!

before i go home, i wanna do travelling with you. like a girl who just turn 19, i don't know how to say it. i recently saying, malu, malu, malu.

well,

may i write about you? i wont tell who you are in here. but i wuff you. no reasons.

Should I Write This?

There are some words that I cannot fathom and assemble it to form a complete sentences. There are some words that I can’t even fit them into some of my writings. There are some situation that stops me from making a clear sentences that depict my emotion and what have been bothering my mind quite recently.

I guess this what happened every time I tried to post something here, undoubtedly just for the sake of updating. Please mind this update, cause I sort of drown into this melancholy feeling lately. My thoughts is eating me alive. It’s pathetic. But I solemnly swear I would never sort all of this things out without the help of my beloved friends.

And of course, by writing this down.

I do not know. I'm not good in sharing or any kind of nice words to be written. Whatever you call it. I'm standing between 2 choices. And confused. Sometimes scared and weird. Enough to say.

b19 day

So, where do I start?

January, I’m grateful for all of this thing happens for no reason. I’m no longer 18,

I continue to grow and blossom into a fine lady, and God bless me in every step of my way.

Thank you my friends, you always know how to make me happy even sad. Thanks for the cake. Another candles and gift.

2014

Happy New Year 2014!

Like people always said, this is the perfect time to start over. To begin a new you. And that is what I try to do every year, to be a better person than last year. To begin a new me. So like other people do, I set a list of resolution. This year the resolution is very clear : get an excellent mark, be better in college life, um… But one thing for sure, I want to be happy this year. Achieve things I want, not what others want. To do things that I want, not because everyone said I should do this and that. To really seek what I really want from life. And most of all, enjoy every moment I have.

Leaving 2013 was a bitter-sweet moment. It was a tough year. Tough enough to make me feel small and unwanted. Tough enough to make me feel that world is such an evil place to life. Sometimes I need to yell at myself to get a grip. But I've learn a lot from that. I've learn that not every person in your life willing to stay at the lowest point of your life. Some of them don't want to help you, they just watch you crumble. I've learn that people can change in a blink of an eye. One day they can be really nice to you, then the next day they can said the cruelest things to you. Or worse, about you behind your back. I've learn that people can hurt you. A lot. Without giving a shit about it. I've learn that those view people who willing to stay at your lowest point, those people who sincerely nice to you, and never want to hurt you is someone who really cares about you. And those person is someone you can keep and trust for the rest of your life. I've learn that no matter life punch you down, you have to get up and fight back. No matter how hard it is, no matter how painful it is, you have to go on. Because when you stop living your life, you will no longer a human. You no longer have a soul. Courage is one thing that can keep you going. Things will be fine if you believe it will be fine. But the most important thing 2013 have thought me was not to take everything for granted. Because God can take the simplest thing you have, things you sometimes forget to be grateful for. At the end of the day you have to look back what you have in your life, be grateful of every single things that life and God had offer to you. Be grateful. And always keep what you have now.

Thank you 2013. It was a great ride. Awesome adventure. The ups and downs. The highs and lows. Thank you. So long and goodbye now. Happy new year.